


Selective Memory

by callmeonetrack



Category: Battlestar Galactica (2003)
Genre: Amnesia, F/M, Fluff and Angst, Self-Indulgent
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-01-13
Updated: 2017-01-13
Packaged: 2018-09-17 05:17:50
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,548
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/9306992
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/callmeonetrack/pseuds/callmeonetrack
Summary: Kara has a touch of Sam!nesia when she returns from Caprica. Lee doesn't mind.





	

It’s been three hours since Kara stepped into the landing bay doors on the Astral Queen; three hours since Lee kissed her hello, shocking them both; three hours since Kara broke the kiss, opened her eyes…and promptly fainted onto the stained concrete floor.

She’s still unconscious. 

Lee sits by her bed in the prison sickbay watching her sleep. When she’d walked into his arms six hours ago, Kara had been smiling, but Lee hadn’t missed the dark circles under her eyes or the slow, slightly lopsided gait as she’d walked towards him. He just hadn’t cared, because every brain cell had been screaming that Kara was alive, whole. _Home._ The rest, he thought, could wait.

Now, he knew that the slant to her walk was because she’d been in pain, hunching due to the stitches in her left side. _Where those motherfrakking cylons had shot her._ Helo had come down—after some commotion that he’d missed involving another copy of Boomer, and it was a good thing his arms had been full of Kara’s dead weight or he would gladly have put a bullet between this one’s eyes too—and told him about that and the farms and the rest of what they’d been through on Caprica. Kara’s fight for the arrow. The skinjob stealing the raider. Running into the Caprica Buccaneers putting up a resistance in the mountains.

And Sam Anders. 

Sam frakking Anders. 

_Sam frakking Kara._

Lee took a deep breath and cleared his mind. It didn’t matter now. She was here; she was back. He grimaced. And she wouldn’t frakking wake up. 

The prison medic had looked her over and said it was probably just the stress and the exhaustion. Her body had been through a lot in the past week, her mind even more. When Lee thought of her stuck in that frakking cylon baby farm… he clenched the edge of the rack, his knuckles turning white from the pressure, wanting to hit something. 

Lee supposes he should be grateful, that Kara met someone who cared enough about her to risk his life to go with Helo to rescue her. But he can’t be grateful because he’s too busy feeling sick about what it means, that kind of sacrifice. He’s not a soldier. He’s a ball player, and if he was ready to waltz into a cylon hotbed to save her… it means he’s not just a hard bounce, this Anders. He can still see Helo shaking his head, his quiet calm voice saying, “She promised him to go back for him. I haven’t seen Kara that wrecked in a long time.”

Lee has, of course. He remembers how Kara was after Zak died, those dark fathomless days before the funeral. Bile rises in his throat for a thousand reasons and he forces himself to just stop. Stop thinking and just focus on Kara. 

He lifts a hand to cover hers, which looks small and pale, curled against the dark, coarse blanket on the bed. A map of blue veins show under the thin skin of her forearm and he traces them over and over with one fingertip, absorbed by the sight, so delicate and incongruous with the Kara in his head. 

Suddenly her arm jerks, twitching. Lee’s head snaps up and Kara’s eyelids are fluttering open. “Kara!”

“Are you frakking trying to tickle me?” Her voice sounds hoarse, even though she’s only been out for a few hours, and relief bubbles through him immediately, ending in a wellspout of nervous laughter. 

“Gods, you’re awake! Thank- Thank gods.”

She blinks at him, looking groggy. “What the hell happened?”

“You fainted, Kara.”

“I’ve never frakking fainted in my life, Apollo.” Her eyes narrow, then she turns her head taking in the room. “And where the hell are we anyway? This isn’t Galactica!”

He blinks. “You did. And we’re on the Astral Queen. Don’t you--” His eyes widen. “Don’t you remember?

“Of course, I—” she stops, her face wary, then taking on a stubborn cast. “I was on Caprica, going after the arrow. That blonde skinjob tried to take it from me, and we fell. Then,” he watches her face pale. “Oh Gods, Sharon! Lee, she’s—”

“I know,” he slides his hand down to squeeze hers. “It’s okay, Kara, I know. Helo….Helo told me everything.” 

“Helo,” she says, a faint smile forming as she stares down at the blanket. “That’s right. She took the raider, and me and Karl went to my apartment. There was…” she shakes her head, “music...and then…then, I fell asleep, I think.” Her brow wrinkles, and her eyes lift to Lee’s again, frustration in her gaze. “I can’t remember anything after that. It’s all a frakking blank.”

Lee stares at her for a long moment, then licks his lips and says, “I think we better call the medic.”

***

“Are you frakking kidding me? Amnesia?” 

Lee tries to keep his voice down. The hatch isn’t fully closed and he doesn’t want Kara to hear.

“No, sir. It’s a very serious and real affliction, especially after trauma like Lieutenant Thrace has experienced. It’s really not that surprising.”

“So…it’s only temporary, right?” He whispers. “I mean, she’ll get the memories back soon?”

“She may.” He shrugs. “She may not. Every case is different.”

Lee blinks.

“The important thing now is to keep her calm and let her rest. More stress, either physical or emotional, could negatively impact her recovery. Even amplify her condition.” 

“Look, doc, you don’t know Kara, like I do. She’s…she’s gonna have questions.”

“Then you should answer them. Just don’t upset her, Captain.”

 _That’s easier said than done_ , Lee thinks as he rubs a hand over his mouth. The medic leaves, and he walks back through the hatch to Kara’s bedside. She looks more alert now, her leg jiggling on the mattress, like she might jump up and make a run for it any second. 

“So what’s the verdict? Am I officially diagnosed as a headcase now?”

“No more so than before,” he tries a smile.

“I don’t remember how I even got back here, okay? There’s a frakking black hole bigger than the scorch marks from Hot Dog’s shitty landings in my head!”

“So it’s no different than all those shore leaves to Aquarian when you went on some crazy benders.”

_“Lee.”_

“For an invalid, you’re kind of demanding,” he stalls.

“Fine! You know what? Forget it!” Kara struggles to sit up and swings her legs over the side of the bed. “I’ll go find the godsdamn medic myself and make him tell me. Don’t know why he told you anyway. Chain of command doesn’t apply on a frakking prison ship,” she grumbles.

“Wait! Wait, okay! Just, just stop.” He taps her legs, and Kara glares at him, but she pulls them up so he can sit on the bed. Lee clears his throat, wondering where to begin. He doesn’t want to tell her about it. Not any of it. “So, he said memory loss is natural after what you went through.”

Her eyes narrow again. “What I went through? What the frak is that exactly?” Kara growls, then winces and presses a hand to her side. Her eyes widen and she lifts the hem of her shirt to see the white bandages. “What the—” her face ripples, and when she looks back at him, Lee sees fear there. “What the hell happened to me, Lee?” 

He reaches down and takes her hand. “Kara, listen, you got shot on Caprica. You and Helo were trying to find transport back, and the cylons ambushed you.”

“Shit.” She grimaced. “No wonder why I frakking passed out. That medic fixed me up?”

Lee swallows hard. “Not exactly. The, uh…” He stops, unsure of how to go on without getting into the hospital and the cylon’s frakking breeding factory. “Kara, do you… do you remember being at… the Farm?”

“A farm? What, like, with pigs and chickens and shit? In Delphi?” 

He chuckles uncomfortably. “Right, I, uh, must have misunderstood Helo.” Lee pauses, but he can’t help himself. “So do you remember meeting anyone on Caprica?”

“I already told you, Lee. I remember being in my shithole of an apartment again and then... nothing till I woke up here.”

He’s torn for a second, loathe to bring it up at all, but he has to know. Has to make sure. If she was making promises to this guy and he was that frakking important….well she’d remember him wouldn’t she? “So you don’t remember meeting the resistance? A Sam Anders?

“Gods, how many times do I have to say it, Lee,” she grits her teeth. “NO, I—wait, wait I…I do know that name. Why do I know that—“ she stops, and looks at him like he’s grown another head. 

“Sam Anders, the captain of the Buccaneers?”

Lee just nods, too busy watching her face.

“You think I was kicking back and taking in a game on the frakking nuked out remains of Caprica?” She raises her eyebrow. “Now who’s the headcase? Gods, maybe we should get that medic back here and have him give you a look, Apollo.”

He pauses again, but he knows he has to tell her. “There was a resistance on Caprica, Kara. About 50 survivors, including the Buccs starting lineup. They were holed up in the mountains and Helo said you met up with them, were trying to plot a way to steal a plane from the base, when the cylons came.”

She blinks at him. “Wow. I can’t believe there were people still alive down there.”

“So you don’t remember this…Sam?” Kara looks at him like she’s about to chew him out again, and Lee adds hurriedly, a note of defensiveness in his voice. “Helo says you got close. Real close.”

Kara’s face hardens and she looks away, scowling. “So that’s what this is?” 

“I don’t know--”

Her eyes are cold when she looks back at Lee. “A pilot who can’t keep her pants on, right? You’re still pissed about the Baltar thing, so naturally, you assume if there was a guy on Caprica that, of course, I frakked him.”

“Kara, I didn’t—“

“No, why stop there? Why don’t you ask if I frakked the whole godsdamn team, Lee? Hey, who knows? Maybe I did, right?”

“Okay, okay, stop, just,” he squeezes her hand, aware he’s made a colossal mess of this. “I’m sorry, Kara. That's not what I meant. I just- I was worried about you, okay? I know it must have been hard, being back on Caprica. Being home. Probably saw some tough things back there.” He takes a deep breath and looks down at their hands, locked together. “I just want you to know, Kara, that I’m your friend. I love you. I’m- I’m here for you, okay? I can get Helo if you want, have him fill in some of those blanks for you, if—”

“What was that middle part again?”

His head lifts in surprise. “What?”

“Did you say you love me?”

He laughs, looks away. “Well, uh..”

“Lee Adama loves me,” she singsongs mockingly.

“Kara, all I meant was...”

“No, seriously, it’s sweet. You—” she stops, a strange look on her face.

“What?”

“I think I remember something.” 

His stomach plummets. “Yeah? Is it…something good or something bad?”

“Something…” she shakes her head, and his shoulders tense. He waits for it. Waits for her to say that she remembers Sam, that she loves him, that she has to go back for him.

Kara looks directly at him. “You kissed me.”

Lee’s eyes widen, but Kara’s not done. “I remember calling over the radio, wondering why the civvie vesels weren’t with Galactica, and you answered and I… when I walked in, you hugged me and then you kissed me.”

His mouth falls open, but again, he’s not sure what to say. The truth just comes out instead. “I missed you.”

Kara looks at him for a long minute, like she can’t quite believe what she’s hearing, and then her lips curve slowly into a smile. She squeezes his hand with hers and then tugs. Lee’s not expecting it and the movement pulls him off balance. He shoots a hand out to the mattress to avoid falling on Kara, and ends up hovering over her, his face just inches from hers. She’s watching him, the smile still in place and turning into a smirk before his eyes. His stomach flips again. “Guess it was one hell of a kiss,” she says, her voice low and hoarse again, “if it made me so weak in the knees I fainted.”

Lee can’t really answer her because he’s too busy staring at her lips and thinking about how much he wants to kiss her again. Right now. 

“My memory’s still a little fuzzy though. Maybe we should try it ag-,” she breathes, and before she even finishes, Lee surges forward and covers her mouth with his own. This kiss is different from the quick press in the landing bay. It’s slow and soft and deep, their lips parting, tongues twining together. His hand lifts to cup her face, and Kara slides her arm around him. One kiss turns into two, then three, then…more.

When they finally break apart, Kara just looks at him and says. “You were wrong, you know.”

“I was?” He answers, brain still a bit fuzzy himself.

“About Caprica. Being home, you said.” Kara shakes her head. “I think I realized it when I was back in my apartment, but it’s not anymore.” She smiles. “ _This_ is home now. It’s good to be home.”

Thoughts rush through Lee’s brain again, of how close he came to losing her, and he pulls Kara to him, buries his face in the crook of her neck and just squeezes her for a solid minute. He can feel Kara’s fingers sliding up his neck, into his hair, and then she whispers, “I missed you too.” 

It takes another minute or two, but he finally loosens his hold and pulls back to look at her. “Kara, are you sure you don’t want me to get Helo? So he could fill you in…”

She shakes her head. “You know what? I don’t think I wanna know. Whatever happened on Caprica…it should stay on Caprica.”

He can’t help the relief that runs through him. “If you’re sure…”

“Yeah, I’m sure. Maybe someday, when I’m real bored, I’ll ask Karl about it,” she shrugs. “I mean, farm animals and pro pyramid players—sounds like a hell of a story and all, but there’s some others that I’d rather hear first.” She cocks an eyebrow. “Like how come the CAG and the President are hiding out on a prison ship with Tom Zarek of all people.”

Lee laughs. “Well, that is a pretty good one. I think you’ll like it. It starts with me holding a gun to Tigh’s head.” 

Kara’s eyes widen and she cackles loudly. “OK, this I gotta hear.” She wriggles sideways to make room, and Lee twists, stretching out next to her and starts talking. He’s only halfway through the first sentence, when Kara reaches down and slides her hand into his again. 

Lee just grins and keeps talking.


End file.
